Because leadership doesn’t happen in a vacuum or only in a boardroom, this blog will discuss a wider variety of leadership topics, and parenting is one of them. As a leader, I am passionate about the application of leadership principles, and I believe that our homes are the greatest leadership laboratories that we have available. Before learning to lead anyone else, I must first learn to lead my own family well.
I heard a discussion on the radio this morning about a radio host’s 7-year-old son who was dealing with verbal bashing by bullies at school. Now, conventional wisdom says that we must fight back and defend ourselves, but is that what the Bible says?
I was surprised by the number of Christian callers (even one of the hosts!) who couldn’t get past the idea of “an eye for an eye.” They talked about “standing up for yourself” and “teaching the bullies a lesson.” But that’s not what I recall Jesus advocating when He was here on earth.
In the Garden of Gethsemane when He was being betrayed, Simon Peter tried to defend Him by cutting off the high priest’s ear with a sword; but Jesus rebuked him and allowed himself to be taken. He allowed himself to be beaten, whipped, and spat upon without any response (even though it was clearly within His power to do so).
Jesus demonstrated a leadership skill that is greater than self-defense. He demonstrated restraint.
I have to give props to Steve from M88 for sticking with his argument that Jesus would turn the other cheek. He wouldn’t back down from the fact that he was teaching his son to do the same.
When asked how many times we should forgive our brothers when they offend us, Jesus answered, “70 times 7″ (read ‘indefinitely’). There is no point at which we should stop forgiving and start taking revenge.
Jesus said that we will be hated because of Him. Why are so we surprised when we’re hated?
As a father, I must teach my children that our response to sin should not mirror the response of the world. They need to learn that the paradigms that constitute “normal” in our society are not the same paradigms that we live by.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic…
I think restraint is one of the Lord’s hardest examples to follow because we tend to take things so personally. When we take things so personally we allow our emotions to take command of our reactions. Which causes our “Christ filter” to fade quickly, especially when someone devalues our reputation.
Absolutely Sarah… and it’s so tough not to take things personally. We try to live real and authentic lives, but the flip side of that is that sometimes we get burned. The only comfort for me is that I don’t have to do restraint alone… because I’m incapable in my own strength. But through Christ, I can do all things!